So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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