Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
