Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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