At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
