I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
