As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
