on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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