i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
