i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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