That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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