Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
