i don't like sucking hair
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
