It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
