My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
