How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you win again, gameday.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
