Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
