why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
