Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
