just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
