that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
