it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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