Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
