when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I love having hate sex.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
