we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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