dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
