i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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