she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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