we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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