I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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