bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
