Whod you bang
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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