you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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