He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
