I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize