How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
two words...techno handjob
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
