One girl and one boy is just not enough.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
