I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
