if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
