we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
