Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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