Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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