He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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