Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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