You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
