New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
