What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
