if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
