How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
