I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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