I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
