This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
