if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
there was a trapeze. enough said
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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