I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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