You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
