I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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